


The Trans Crew AU

by softkilluas99



Series: Younger Years [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, College, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Fluid! Gon Freecs, Genderfluid Character, High School, Other, Romance, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Trans! Killua Zoldyck, Trans! Kurapika, Trans! Leorio Paladiknight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 20:49:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11676822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softkilluas99/pseuds/softkilluas99
Summary: It's the Trans Crew AU made semi-popular on softkillua.tumblr! Lea & Kurapika & Killua & Gon are finally here on AO3. This will be a collection of drabbles, there's going to be some fluff and romance but also angst and a little heartbreak. Based on prompts and questions I have received concerning this AU as well as some of my own inspired ideas. The Transgender Crew that hits close to home but I hope it allows readers to enjoy their stories all the more.





	1. I'm Coming Out

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone! Trans Crew has finally found its way to AO3!! I'm very excited to share this with you, for more information about this specific AU or if you'd simply like to say hello! (or request a prompt) You can head over to thehxh-transcrewau.tumblr for the official blog! To begin, I'll be posting some drabbles already seen on tumblr and add in those that I've put together along the way but never released. Have fun!

Gon and Killua have known each other since they were in kindergarten. Killua was trying to punch Gon in the face for stealing his dinosaur that Gon insisted they share. Cause Mito taught them “sharing is caring!” Upon seeing this, their teacher made the two sit in the Corner of Shame. Gon was talkative as heck and Killua found it a little annoying but he was still smug he wasn’t the only one in the Corner. Gon was constantly happy and sunshine-y and wouldn’t leave him alone after that day and Killua.. Killua decided he really liked Gon and hanging out with them!

Gon was the first to come out. And it wasn’t dramatic and sad, it was.. easy? With Killua, at least, by their side. It was 7th grade when Gon voiced their feelings.

“Sometimes I feel like a girl, Killua.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean.. sometimes being a boy doesn’t feel like what I am.”

“Like.. like Alluka feels like a girl?

“Mhm, I think so!! Why? Does Killua think that’s weird?”

“N-no! Never! Idiot! Like I care if you’re a boy or a girl, we’re best friends!”

“You’re a really good friend, Killua.”

“Oh my god, shut up, Gon!!”

“You know, I wouldn’t care if Killua was a boy or a girl, either.”

“Yeah? Well.. Maybe I’m neither..”

“That’s okay, then! You’ll just be Killua and that’s all that matters!”

“I literally hate you.”

Gon just laughs. So Killua voices that he feels non-binary at first (though he doesn’t quite have this understanding, and truth be told he actually feels more trans than non-binary but admitting that out loud even though there’s a space for him to do so is still a little difficult. he’s figuring things out, you know?) Killua still dresses however he wants and does whatever he wants but it’s not until 8th grade that he tells Gon when he’s skateboarding in front of their house.

“Do you remember that time I told you I wasn’t a boy or a girl?”

“Hmm? Yeah! Of course I remember, it’s the day I told Killua I felt like a girl!”

“Don’t be all sentimental about it…”

“I’ve been much more sentimental about things before. Besides, you’re my partner now and–”

“Boyfriend.” Killua interrupts.

“Hmm?”

“I’m not your partner, I’m your boyfriend. I’m a boy.”

Gon blinks, just once. “Okay! Killua’s my boyfriend, then.”

“Y-yeah.. Thanks, Gon.”

“Mhm, now can I get a kiss from my boyfriend?”

“Cheesy loser!”

And that was that for the two! Wasn’t as hard as Killua thought it would be and he tried to be super casual about it even though palms were sweating BUT /shrug/ ONTO LEAPIKA

Well. Kurapika and Lea met the summer before their junior year of high school. It was at a beach with their friends (two different groups, btw) and Kurapika was wearing his binder but it was soaked through and the weather was pretty cool, so he was sat shivering and Lea being the kind soul she is (lol more like she was checking Pika out from afar the entire afternoon/evening) sat down next to him and threw a blanket over his shoulders. Long story short, started with a conversation and ended with them sucking face half the night.

It wasn’t until two weeks before summer vacation was supposed to end (when Lea was finally tired of the constant teasing/flirting/obvious connection the two had) that Lea asked Kurapika out on a date. 

“You… You want to buy me a burger and take me out to a movie? You mean, officially?”

“I’m not saying we go steady or anything! I just.. Would like to take you out..”

“No one says ‘go steady’ anymore, Lea.”

“You’re really ungrateful for someone who just got asked out on a date. It’s oddly cute as hell.”

And this is when Pika blinks a million times in one minute and then blushes but he turns away and goes quiet and Lea’s heart drops because she thinks she’s just lost her chance at something that could be amazing because  _ Kurapika is amazing. _

“I-I didn’t mean that. I mean, we don’t even have to go on a date, it doesn’t matter!”

“Lea…”

“I mean, we could keep hanging out, it’s no big deal. I wouldn’t mind, I enjoy your company, I wouldn’t–”

“Lea, stop! I’m transgender!”

“Wh-what?”

“I’m… I was born female. But I’m a male, I’m a boy! Does that… Will it.. Bother you?”

“Are you serious?”

“I wouldn’t joke about this kind of thing, how could you–”

“Kurapika, be quiet for a second! Please?”

And he listens. 

“Kurapika, I don’t care.. I know you’re a boy, nothing will change my mind unless you say otherwise, I would never think you’d lie about that. What I said… What I said was because…  I.. I didn’t think I would ever find someone else..  _ Like me. _ ”

“Are you saying–”

“I’m.. I’m a trans-woman.”

“I don’t know if things became more complicated or more simple.”

“I guess we’ll figure it out over a burger and fries??”

“Oh, definitely!”

The way they come out to each other as in like. As their actual group?

It’s Gon who says it first. And it’s just them being honest with Kurapika about who they are.. 

“Hey, Kurapika..”

“Yes, Gon?”

“Sometimes.. Sometimes, I like being called she but.. Could you call me  _ they _ from now on?”

“They?”

“Mhm! ‘Cause, see, I didn’t always feel like ‘he’, I felt more like a ‘she’ and I identified with that! But. But sometimes I do still feel those masculine sides but I still lean more towards ‘she’ and I don’t want to just be ‘she’! So, can I be ‘they’ for a little while?”

And Kurapika really can’t believe it. Gon doesn’t have the complete understanding or words but they know what they mean. Trans and Gender Fluid and Kurapika knows more about this because he’s been trans for so long and questioned his gender many years ago so he dove in for everything he could find. Kurapika had yet to open up to Gon at this point so when his newfound friend blurted out his true feelings, Kurapika laughed. 

Not out of malice but.. Relief. Joy. 

It was more than just him and Lea, now.

“Gon, I believe you’re describing gender fluid.”

“Gender… fluid?”

“Yes. It’s when you shift between male and female. Is that what you feel?”

“It is! Hmm..  _ Gender fluid _ . I’m gender fluid. This is interesting, I can’t wait to tell Killua about it!”

“I-I don’t know how long you’ve felt this way but I want you to know you’re not alone, Gon. Me and Lea, we–” and he pauses because he’s not sure if Lea would want them to know, but then he swipes that errant thought out of the way because of course Lea would want them to know! “Lea is a trans-woman and I’m a trans-man. Do you know what that means?”

“Yes! Killua’s a trans-man! You guys are, too?! That’s so cool! He’s going to be so happy to hear this! He has a hard time, you know? But he’ll be so glad to know we’re not the only ones!”

“I’m glad, Gon.”

“Hey Kurapika, I’m really glad we found each other.”

“I am too, Gon.”

And later that night after school is over and everyone’s with their significant other, both Gon and Kurapika go to their lovers about what transpired earlier that afternoon. 

After, the whole crew knows and they’ve been happy ever since. It really brought them closer. It allowed them to share more pieces of themselves and love each other infinitely moreso.


	2. Those Three Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When asked "Who said I love you, first?"

For Gon, there really isn’t a first. They’ve been telling Killua they love him for years, ever since they were kids. It only changed and grew when they were older.

Age 6

Running around and playing in a sandbox, Gon was watching Killua play out a fun adventure using dinosaurs and miniature cars. Gon was laughing and Killua kept making explosion sounds with his mouth.

“Killua!  _ KilluaKilluaKillua!! _ ”

“Oi! I’m telling a story!”

“But Killua!!”

“Whaaaaat?!”

“I love you!”

“What?! W-weirdo!”

Age 9

The kids are having a sleepover and Killua says his brother Illumi has been very rude to him, that he never wants to play or really even talk to him. Gon swoops his hand up, locks fingers and says:

“I’ll be your brother, Killua! I’ll always be here to play with you!”

“G-Gon–!”

“We have fun together, don’t we? You can come over so we can always do that, together! Mito doesn’t mind!”

“B-but we’re _ not  _ related.”

“I know. But I love you like we are!”

“Ugh! Why do you always say things like that?!”

“L-like what?”

“That.. you..  _ y’know _ !”

“That I love you? It’s because I do, Killua! I do! I love you!”

“Whatever, shut up!” And Killua pulls his hand away, burying his face in several layers of blankets to hide his blushing face. But he’s happy. He’s happy that Gon loves him and that Gon wants to stay together.

Age 13

Killua is finally at Gon’s place after being gone for two weeks on a mandatory Zoldyck family “vacation”

“Killua.. I miss you when you’re away.”

Killua rolls his eyes “It was just a lame family vacation, Gon.”

But really, he missed Gon too.

“I know! But I.. I kept thinking about Killua. All the time! Anytime something funny happened, all I wanted to do was tell you.”

“Yeah! Every time I turned around, I had like 30 texts from you! My parents almost took my phone away from me!”

His heart skipped when he saw the amount of messages Gon constantly left him.  _ Yeah, this boy had it bad already. _

“I’m sorry.. sometimes, I just think.. I feel so much for Killua and I don’t know what to do with it.”

“What are you talking about, Gon?”

“I.. I love you, Killua!”

Killua frowns, “I know that, idiot! It’s all you ever say!”

But, Gon shakes their head. “No, Killua doesn’t understand.. I-I know I used to say that I loved you like a sibling but.. When you were away, I asked Mito about you–”

“You asked your mom about me?!”

“I didn’t know who else to turn to! I had to tell someone!”

“Tell someone what?!”

“That I love Killua as more than a friend!!”

“You… you.. what?”

“I don’t love you like you love Alluka, I love you more. I love you more than I’ve loved anyone! I-I like it when we sleep in the same bed and-and sometimes I think about kissing Killua like they do in those movies or I’ll have really weird dreams and I wake up–”

“Stop! Shu-shut up, Gon!!”

“Does Killua.. not feel the same way?” Gon’s heart sank into their feet, shoulders slouching.

“I didn’t say that.. stupid..”

“Do you love me, too?”

“Eurgh! Do I  _ really _ have to say it?!” Killua pouts, practically throwing himself on Gon’s bed and laying across, arms over his face cause maaaaan he can not deal with what Gon is throwing at him right now.

He’s pretty sure he’s loved Gon since they were 10 and to just hear it back, to know it’s  _ returned. _

Gon swallows the saliva in their mouth, enjoys the way their body is sending weird tingles everywhere and they’re lightheaded. They sit next to Killua on their bed. “It would.. make me happy..

And Killua blurts it all out super fast before he can think himself out of it. “I love you even though you’re a weirdo idiot!”

And Gon beams, giggling before they throw themselves back to lay next to Killua, an arm around his chest and the quickest of pecks against Killua’s cheek.

And then Killua, of course, combusted.

OFF TO LEOPIKA

Theirs wasn’t so dramatic or drawn out. It was more of…..

Well, it was their fourth date. About 3 months into their relationship and Kurapika took Lea out to get dessert. (They watched a movie first, which Lea paid for. During the entire movie, they wanted sweets but agreed paying their first born for some damn Nerds was outrageous so they held off) anyway

Kurapika had his head thrown back, ice cream on his face because Lea unexpectedly smeared him in it. Lea thought it would just be sticky and cold so a little unpleasant but when she heard him laugh so hard, the way his cheeks were slightly flushed, some hair sticking to his face because of the melting confection, Lea couldn’t stop herself.

“I love you.”

Kurapika didn’t immediately register it so he kind of just laughed for a few more seconds until it hit him and then he quieted down, taking a few deep breaths

“Wh-what did you say?”

“I-I didn’t, I mean, I-that wasn’t-why don’t we just forget I ever said that and just-we should–”

“Hey, Lea..”

And Kurapika got up from his side of the table, deliberately sits next to Lea and she follows his every movement with total fucking fear, ice in her veins that she said it too soon and it was too much and she shouldn’t have said shit but–

Kurapika takes a few fingers of ice creams and smears her cheeks and nose in it.

“I’m really glad you said it first. I love you, too.”


	3. Carnival Time

Gon gasped, nearly bouncing on their tip toes as they pointed towards the slow moving ferris wheel glowing under the sunset. “Killua! Let’s go on that one, look how high it goes!”

Killua’s hair blew with the wind, eyes squinting against the bright while he tried to make out what they were pointing to. “What? That’s so fucking cliche! People go up there to make out!”

He nearly made a gagging sound while staring at the slow moving contraption, it’s like the number one thing used in movies, how lame!

Gon only shrugged. “So? We could be one of those lame couples that makes out up there! Isn’t it like some rite of passage or whatever?!”

Killua blinked. 

“I can’t believe you know what a rite of passage is, Gon..”

“Children, children, calm yourselves,” Lea said, a hand on each of the teenagers’ shoulders. “And stay down here, we’re here for the games, not the rides!” Her eyebrows raised and the hand on Killua’s slid off, raising to her face where she used her middle finger to push up the glasses on the bridge of her nose. Killua sneered.

“I didn’t agree to that!”

Killua was really only here for the deep fried snickers and a shit ton of cotton candy. He’d cleared his schedule the next two days for the impending stomach ache. 

“Shut up, Killua!”

“Will you two ever stop? We’re here to have a really good time. The only one who seems to understand that concept is Alluka!” Kurapika sighed in exasperation, wondering exactly when they could have a day without bickering.

Lea smiled at the mention of Killua’s little sister, perking up and scouring the crowds of people milling across the fairground they were currently at.“Where is the little angel, anyway?”

“Angel?!,” Killua snorted,“HA!” Alluka was anything but.

“I think I saw her out with Zushi somewhere..” Gon trailed off, eyes still going back to the ferris wheel they wanted to get on with Killua.

“Zushi!?” Killua’s nose wrinkled at the sound of that name. The twerp kept trying to flirt with his sister the past few months. “That asshole?! Hey, Lea, you wanna kick some ass today?”

She blinked, “I mean, I’m usually down to kick ass anyway but today could be something special.”

Kurapika’s blue-green eyes widened before he pulled Lea down by the lapels of her likely too expensive jacket. “Lea, if you leave my side to do something idiotic with someone equally, if not moreso then you’re taking the damn couch tonight!”

“Shit, Kurapika!”

“You’re not getting me kicked out of a fair, again!”

“To be fair, that was junior year and we–okay, I’ll stop, I see the look you’re giving me and I’m sorry but I love you. Please don’t make me take the couch!” She whined under his withering gaze, an angry Kurapika was a not-to-be-trifled-with-Kurapika.

“Mkay!” Gon announced, taking Killua’s hand in their own. “Well me and Killua are gonna go make out on top of the spinning wheel, bye guys!” Gon wasted no time, dragging Killua along while they ran off together, quick as their legs could take the both of them.

“Gon! Killua!”

The two teenagers didn’t dare look back, holding fast to each other and laughing while trying to dodge the crowds of people hand in hand.

Eh, who cared if they were a cliche couple, after all?


	4. Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter includes self mutilation/self harm. It includes gross misgendering and physical/verbal abuse. I strongly ask any who are trans/nb to proceed with caution if you choose to read this chapter! This one is incredibly close to the reality of many, it is potentially triggering.

“Mom! Mom, please! _Mommy!_ ”

Kikyo grappled with her son, dragging him further and further down their hallway and towards their grand door. “Get out, you disgust me! You’re sick in the head!” She seethed, fingernails digging into the skin of her son’s arm and neck, Killua’s feet shuffled against the tile, heart in his throat.

“I’m not! No–mom–stop!” He begged, pushing and pulling and yanking away from her grip though she held strong, there would be bruises on his skin from it. 

Oh god, how had things gone so horrifically wrong?

The mother and son made their way to the door, Kikyo reaching with one hand to open it and shoving her son through. Killua stumbled, foot catching on the door’s ledge and he fell face forward. There was a stinging pain in his wrists and knees when he made contact with cement.

“You’re an embarrassment, get out! Where is my daughter?! Do you think you look cute wearing those boy clothes?! Get! Out!” Kikyo yelled, taking a step outside of her home and standing to block the door like a gatekeeper. She was furious, looking down at the boy with bloodied knees and scraped hands. Killua scrambled to sit on his backside, panic coursing through him and tears falling over his face.

“I’m–I’m still your child!”

“My little girl isn’t a psycho. I don’t know who you are, something’s wrong with you! You’re sick, just sick! It’s clear you have mental problems if you think that you’re a boy.,” Kikyo was relentless with her ruthlessness. “You understand that you’re not, don’t you? You understand you’re a girl and you’ll never be a boy!” And then she said the word Killua never wanted to hear again in his entire life, the word repeated to him by his family members only. A name written on his high school ID because he wasn’t allowed to change it. 

She rolled her tongue over the ‘r’, mouth clacking with the ‘k’ and falling off with the last of the letters. “Look at me!,” She commanded.

Killua felt like he was drowning, his mother holding his head under water while asking if he could still breathe. 

“Killua..,” He whispered to himself. That was his name, that was his identity. Wasn’t it? He could breathe, couldn’t he? He wasn’t… He wasn’t.. The girl.

He was Killua. To Gon and Kurapika and Leorio and Alluka, to the teachers at school and their other friends. He was Killua.

“Excuse me?”

Killua took a shuddering breath, tears falling over his chin and splashing onto the back of his hands. “My name is Killua!”

Kikyo sneered, “You can come back when I have my daughter, again. I don’t have another son.”

Kikyo turned her back and slammed the door on him, the clicking of locks confirming to him even on the pavement that he was no longer allowed inside. Killua’s body trembled, teeth gritting to hold back the sobs ready to rip through his body but he refused–he wanted to refuse. It didn’t stop the tears from trailing over his cheeks, through the dips and valleys of his nose and over his lips and down his chin. 

He tried not to remember her words scarring him like a lit cigarette against skin. The burn was likely the same. 

_ She doesn’t want me.. No one.. No one wants me.. _

‘You’ll never be a boy!’

‘You’re sick! Just sick!’

‘Something’s wrong with you..’

Killua choked on a sob, strangled by his own emotion and self hatred. Why? Why did Milluki have to find out and tell his mother? Why did she.. Why did she do this.. Killua knew it would be hard, but.

He doesn’t know how he got the strength to stand up, how he made his way across their lawn and around the back of the two story house where his room was at the top floor. He remembers climbing down the lattice beside their garden when he was younger, sneaking out with Gon in middle school when his parents had a strict curfew policy. Bizarre how now he had to break into his own room. 

He couldn’t stay. There would be no way. But he’d scale the side, open his window and pack a bag. He didn’t want to think about coming back. But, where would he go? 

He couldn’t think about that, just yet. He had to count the seconds, had to make sure his fingers settled with a good enough grip to push him further so he wouldn’t fall off and plummet to hard ground beneath.

Would that be so bad, though? He thought to himself, would it even matter? Would anyone even miss me? He imagined it for a moment, of simply letting go and then…

His window wasn’t locked, it never was, crawling inside wasn’t the difficult part, it was making sure not to land with harsh footfalls and alert anyone he was inside of his room. He struggled with feeble arms for a few seconds before pushing his head and shoulders through, he pushed and pushed, legs dangling mid-air outside while his hands stretched to his carpet floor. He was glad for the little sound barriers, resting his weight into his palms and pushing through the room until he could pull one leg in and then the other as soundless as possible. 

And then he was alone in the quiet of his room, nothing looking even remotely amiss. Bed was made, TV off, books and movies and video games stacked neatly. He thought it looked like a memory of somewhere someone had lived, just a memory.

Move, he commanded himself, shaking himself from his stupor and he walked with calculated movements. He opted to take his shoes off while he searched his closet for a duffel bag and started shoving clothing inside. 

He had managed to stave off his emotions thus far, it was something he’d gotten pretty decent at over the years. He could push his hurt, his pain down, he could numb himself out for a time before it started to build again. 

And after shoving shirts and sweaters and whatever else he could lay his hands on, his vision began to blur again. He could feel the ache in his chest. He breathed through his mouth but he could no longer go on when his hands started shaking. A whine fell from his mouth without permission and he had to bite down on his lip to stop the rest, he covered his mouth with both hands, body convulsing as he tried to stop his emotions from boiling over. 

_ I’m an idiot! I’m worthless, I’m so fucking worthless and I knew it all along! Where am I gonna go?? Where the  _ fuck _ am I gonna go!? _

_ She said I’m sick in the head.. I’m sick in the head and oh god, oh god I probably am! I am! Why can’t I be normal, why am I… oh god, oh god, why!? _

There was another reason for the bracelets Killua wore wrapped around his wrists. He liked them, surely. A lot of things that were shiny or had weird material attracted his eye, but it granted him one great ability. To hide the wounds. 

Killua dropped to his knees, quickly and quietly as possible, searching for the small box beneath his bed. His hands grabbed, pulled, greedy and impatient. It was the only way to stop the madness, to feel numb for just a little while longer. For the most part, the box had leftover chocolate wrappers, some bobby pins, roll of gauze but there was a prized possession huddled towards one corner. 

It was originally some sort of fidget toy, Gon had bought it for Killua because it was shiny and played music when it spun but Killua dropped it too many times and it no longer did what it was supposed to. The spinner was painted gold and the spinning edges were sharp, one of them more lethal than the others, carved by human hands. 

Killua rose, holding the toy turned weapon before sitting on his bed. He took several cleansing deep breaths before rolling the sleeve of his sweatshirt down. He removed several bracelets to reveal already scarred over and healed skin. He hadn’t cut in a few months, he had been clean, he made a promise to Gon once before. 

But, what Gon didn’t know, couldn’t hurt him. Right? 

It could only hurt Killua. And, after all, it’s what he deserved anyway. 

Killua pulled a pillow to his mouth, to muffle his screams inside cotton and he didn’t hesitate to slash sharp edges against creamy skin. He replayed his mother’s cruel words to him, bled them out, purged them. 

_ One _

‘Mommy, please!’

‘You disgust me!’

_ Two _

‘You’re a girl, you’ll never be a boy!’

‘Sick in the head!’

_ Three _

‘Pyscho’

‘You’re sick’

‘Mental problems…’

_ Four _

‘You can come back when I have my daughter.’

Killua’s wrist burned, blood seeping from slash marks and he quickly rolled his sleeve down, holding his arm up and away from himself, fingers wrapped around the wounds. The blood would stain but it was no matter, so long as Killua could get it to stop, soon, otherwise it would be bothersome to have it leaking down his palm. 

And, somehow, Killua felt… Better. Cleansed. 

His head ached, heart hung heavy, nose still stuffed with disgusting snot but he.. Didn’t need to cry, anymore. He had accepted it with each cut across delicate skin.

He was worthless. His family didn’t want him and he felt alone. Where would he go? Where could he? 

Certainly not to Gon’s, there was no way he could be seen like this. And Kurapika… Kurapika was out of town. Lea, then? Maybe he could hang out there for a few hours before trailing to Gon’s in better spirits, because all he could do now was lose himself to his numb. 

Gon would bug him for answers Killua didn’t want to give, but Lea understood the need for privacy, understood the need to stay inside one’s self. 

Killua used one hand to retrieve gauze from the box below him, cut a decent amount of it with his teeth, rolling back his sleeve and wrapping several layers so it wouldn’t bleed through too badly. Killua had been a little out of practice with depth, bled a little too much this go around but he was prepared in ways to treat and hide. He pulled bracelets back over to hold the gauze in place, took off his shirt to find a new one and wiped his bloodied palm over it. 

His bag went over his shoulder, feet back in his shoes and he was pushing himself down his window, once again. There was a burn in the muscles of his harmed wrist with the strain, a stinging pain that made Killua hiss each time, but there was.. A sort of pleasure at the feeling. The feeling of pain thrumming through him. 


	5. It's Pride, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BACK TO FLUFF! This was never released and I didn't know if I ever would finish it, but here it is! The Trans Crew getting ready for Pride in New York City!

Gon was vibrating, from the tips of their spiky hair to their toes, absolutely thrumming with energy and love and excitement. They couldn’t contain themselves, foot shaking while they sat with their boyfriend in Kurapika’s bathroom. 

Killua’s eyes were narrowed in concentration, lips pursing as he did his best to give his partner perfectly even matching make up on their cheeks. One hand cradling the side of Gon’s head and the other painting the rainbow on the apple of their cheek.

Gon reached both hands out, wrapping around thin and pale wrists. Killua paused his work, blinking twice before focusing back on Gon’s face.

They were beaming,  _ glowing _ . And it wasn’t just the bright lights in the bathroom creating a halo over them. 

“Killua..,” Gon’s voice shook, with his joy over the brim. “Killua, is this-are we really--”

Killua’s eyes softened, turning that crystal blue Gon adored so much, he smiled. He knew what they were asking, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t equally as excited.  

“We are, Gon. We’re going. We’re here together and we’re going!” Killua spoke to Gon, breath barely over a whisper.

Gon swallowed, releasing their hold on Killua’s wrists and running fingers over until they could thread them together. They squeezed Killua’s hands in their own, one of the couple’s palms meeting clunkily due to the make up marker Killua held.

“K-Killua, I’m so happy! I’m here with you and we’re going and we can be happy today!” 

Killua laughed in a way that Gon could only describe as a tinkling giggle, made their heart stutter and breath come up short at the sound. 

Killua pushed forward, pressing kisses over Gon’s entire face. Starting with both cheeks, being very careful of the make up he took nearly an hour to apply--but don’t blame him because it’s not as if he ever does his own--over Gon’s nose and chin. Killua couldn’t resist Gon’s lips, he never could. Ever since that first time in 8th grade, he couldn’t stop-- _ wouldn’t  _ stop.

Kissing Gon was one of his favorite things to do and seeing how happy and beautiful and handsome Gon looked, it was simply too much to resist. He had to capture their lips with his. 

“Killua, I’m--we’re--K-Killua!!” Gon sputtered through pressed lips and nipping teeth, they giggled under Killua’s mouth. “Mmf fry phoo m-malk!!”

“I know you are but you’re too damn cute to resist.”

And even though Killua was usually the one to blush between the two, Gon’s cheeks turned a deep rosy red under rainbow colored stripes. 

“Hey! Are you guys almost re--woah, what the fuck, guys?!” Lea’s voice cracked, the older girl had balked, opening the restroom door to find Gon sitting in Killua’s lap, faces close together and hands clasped.

Killua grit his teeth in frustration, feeling the heat rise to his face, crawling to the tips of his ears. Their position did certainly look  _ suggestive _ . “Relax, you fucking hag!”

Gon hid their face in Killua’s shoulders, under the hair let loose by his constantly messy ponytail.

“Language!” Lea stomped her foot, pointing a finger at the younger teenagers. Of all days to be traumatized,  _ this was not one of them, damnit! _

“Children, please,” Kurapika’s disembodied voice reached everyone's ears in the restroom and Lea huffed, pulling her arm back to cross both over her chest. 

“Killua, I know you're gay as hell for Gon and everything but--”

Killua nearly choked. “Hey! They're gay for me too, goddamnit,” he moved his shoulder below Gon’s forehead to nudge them into a defense. “Tell this old hag, Gon.” 

Gon smiled, turning their head toward Lea to reply with exactly  _ zero _ ounces of shame. “I'm always gay for Killua!”

Killua didn't know if he was glad Gon couldn't see or pissed that Lea  _ could _ see. 

Both. Definitely both. 

Gon felt their boyfriend tense underneath them and smirked, mischievous. Messing with Killua was certainly one of their favorite pastimes.

“What the-- _ J-Jesus fucking _ …!” 

_ Mission accomplished _ .

Kurapika grew tired of everyone's antics, choosing to simply walk to his  _ own _ bathroom and pull the squabbling children apart.  _ including his girlfriend Lea _ . “While I'm sure the conversation you're all having must be  _ riveting _ , if we take any longer, we’ll catch a shit ton of traffic..,” he trailed off, seemingly uncaring about the two 16 year olds practically cuddling on his toilet seat. 

“Of course we will! It's fucking Pride! You kids ready to have your minds blown? Ready to have the most sublime experience of your life?” Lea did some show of jazz hands crossing over each other to inspire some imagination from the first timers. 

It was lost on them. 

Instead, the side of Killua's mouth quirked up. 

“Aw, look at you, Lea. Using big words. How long have you been waiting to use that in the right sentence?”

“Killua, I mean this in the most loving way imaginable--you're a fucking pain in my ass, kid.” 

Said  _ kid _ threw his head back in laughter. “Compliment taken!” Killua nudged up with his thighs, grabbing Gon’s attention. “Here, look at your make up and tell me if you like it. Be honest!” He insisted, waiting for Gon to stand and look at the makeup he worked so hard on. 

Across both cheeks were different colors. One side painted with the LGBT rainbow and the other with the rich purples and black and whites of Gender Fluid. 

Gon's curious hands pressed softly below painted skin, eyes wide and mouth slack. They quickly turned to their boyfriend. 

“Killua, I love it!!”

“Yeah, yeah!  _ I _ look gorgeous, Gon looks gorgeous, Kurapika looks exceptional, let's get a move on! I'm ready to be fucking  _ drenched _ in glitter.” Lea was already walking out of Kurapika’s bathroom and awaiting the rest of their friends at her boyfriend’s bedroom door. 

“You're a butch trans lady, you came out  _ covered _ in glitter.” Killua gave a quick retort and Lea snorted. Kurapika followed his girlfriend, Gon trailing after linked to Killua through still tangled fingers

“And don't you forget it!” 

Kurapika sighed, rolling his eyes as he grabbed for his bag. “Gon, I apologize for this road trip ahead of time. By the end of this, your relationship might be completely ruined.” 

“I like how witty Killua is. His mouth does lots of things!” 

Killua wished for a moment that his entire life could come to a screeching halt at that exact moment because the soul crushing silence that ensued after Gon’s comment was  _ excruciating _ . 

Kurapika had to bite down on his lip to keep himself from bursting into raucous laughter, Lea blinked. 

Gon skipped past the older couple, Killua hot on his trail. Did he want to kill Gon or just smack him?  _ Choices…  _

Lea stomped after the pair. “Now, wait a  _ fucking _ minute!” 

Gon laughed, well aware of their innuendo and acting too innocently. But they were 16, of course they had done  _ things with Killua before!  _ They provided easy distraction for their tall best friend before jumping into Kurapika’s stationwagon. “Lea, did you make a playlist for the roadtrip?”

“Don’t you worry your little self, Gon.” Lea pat Gon’s head once, twice before opening the door with flair and bravado.  _ Ah, there it is _ . Lea listened to so much music, she was always in charge as DJ not only because she always sat passenger side with Kurapika. 

Gon cuddled up to their boyfriend in the backseat, seatbelt only slightly digging into the skin of their hip and head leaning on Killua’s shoulder. A pale hand slipped around Gon’s waist, greedy fingers pushing up the fabric of their shirt in order to find smooth skin beneath. 

Kurapika shot one look at the lovebirds in his car before turning to his own beloved. This wasn’t the couple’s first time going to Pride but it would be their first time bringing close friends who were also part of the LGBT. These kids who had grown up isolated would be taken to a place where there was love and acceptance and kindness right at the gate. He couldn’t be more excited for them. 

A large and warm hand wrapping around his smaller on the gear shift snapped him out of his reverie. Lea was looking at him with such fondness, dark skin and brown eyes shining. She was a  _ Goddess _ to him. A smile crept its way onto his face and he breathed. 

He slipped from beneath her hand, fingers turning keys in the ignition. 

The crew of close friends spent the two hour drive belting out songs by Lady Gaga and Beyonce, Whitney Houston and Chaka Khan. Lea even supplied music by Nicki Minaj to Killua’s delight and the boy was vicious in his renditions, growling and going soft and perfecting it to a T.

For a moment, they all held the same thought, the same feeling. 

That they never wanted to forget this. 


End file.
